Raising Children

From the myspace archives.

Raising Children
(written May 13, 2008)

There are many things in life that make a person stop think "Am I doing the right thing?" And the right thing is so subjective for each person and situation and circumstances at that point in life. As a mother, I think about it all the time. Am I doing the right thing? It's scary to think how large an influence I am in shaping two people. Today they are happy children, but one wrong move on my part and they could be damaged serial killers. It's a tough burden to bear.

I love my children. I do the best I can for them. But I worry. I work too much. If I take a night for myself, am I spending too much time away? I need to clean the house, but they need to get outside. We haven't been to the park in a month. They are filthy from playing outside, but they are falling asleep and really should get to bed - no bath tonight. They won't touch the tofu I cooked; McDonald's for the kids - and mom has failed again. These are the small things, the everyday things. Can you even imagine the big things that come up?

Yesterday, my kids were out playing with some of the neighborhood kids. There's a boy who is a bad influence that I've told my kids they aren't allowed to play with anymore. But of course, when I poked my head out of the window to check on the kids, they were not only playing with him, my son was joining him in throwing things at the cars. Great. My son is on a path to delinquency. So, I called them inside. They both came right away, and my son said he was sorry for doing it. I reiterated that he was not to play with that boy and never to do bad things with him. Nevertheless, Mommy Worry set in. What is the right thing to do??

This morning, my daughter woke up very early with a fever and a nasty cough. So, I called my neighbor downstairs to see if my son could walk with her son to school this morning. I can see him from my kitchen window the entire way to school. He stopped to look both ways before he crossed the street. He walked, then ran, then dawdled to cut down some high weeds with a stick (fighting some imaginary foe, I'm sure). But he went straight to the school yard and when the bell rang, he immediately got in line to go into class, and I could see him smile when his teacher opened the door. My son loves school.

I'm raising a good boy. Am I doing the right thing to worry so much?