Backseat Mayhem

From the myspace archives.

Backseat Mayhem
(written September 4, 2007)

After our usual evening routine of leaving the daycare and going to the YMCA, the kids and I decided to go to the grocery store. While heading to the store, the kids started in on their usual arguments. I tuned them out. Thank god my ears turned themselves back on for the following conversation:

"I'm gonna call the police!" Says my 4-year-old princess in a huff.

She promptly starts dialing 9-1-1 on her Disney Princess cell phone. As it rings to horribly electronic versions of Disney songs, I have time to think "I'm so proud that she has remembered all of our talks about what to do in an emergency" before I hear:
"Hello. Police? Come get this stupid boy." Realizing that I may in fact be listening and that she would get in trouble for saying stupid, she quickly amends her request. "I mean, come get this boring boy. I don't like him."

Then, she deepens her voice so that her brother will hear what the police officer is saying to her and says "Okay. I'll come." She then hangs up her phone and I'm sure she gave her brother a nice example of how far her tongue can actually stick out of her mouth without detaching from her head.

Her brother will not be deterred by mere police coming to get him. Oh, no. "Oh, yeah? I'll call Superman. Superman?! Come get her!" He then deepens his voice so that his sister will know Superman means business, and has Superman answer "Okay. I'm on my way." He then turns to his sister to say "See? Superman's gonna get you."

I was disappointed that this argument had to end. But as Superman descended to pinch the princess on her arm, I pulled into the parking lot and declared that no one would be getting a treat at the store. Take that police AND Superman.