I'm so insulted . . . Kind of . . . Okay, not really.

From the myspace archive.

I'm so insulted . . . Kind of . . . Okay, not really.
(written April 17, 2007)

My daughter is home sick today. It's been a fun day. She started antibiotics yesterday, so she is feeling well enough to want to play today. So, I let her play and watch movies in the living room while I gave in to my eBay addiction. I also allowed her to have a bowl of dry Kix in the living room to snack on while she watched her cartoon. Normally, I do not allow children to bring food out of the kitchen in my home.

Well, about 15 minutes into my vintage clothing online shopping session, my son comes into my office saying "You have to come see what my sister did! Come look! In the bathroom! The whole bowl! Look!"

Exiting my office, I come directly into the living room where I find that my daughter has stolen her brother's snack of Sun Chips. She was sitting on the floor with a bowl of Kix beside her, cutting up the Sun Chips into small crumbs with one of her plastic play-kitchen knives. She looks up with a radiant smile to say "Look, Momma! I'm making Kix Chip soup!" She scoops up some of the shattered chips, puts them in her cereal bowl, and stirs the chip crumbs into her Kix with one of her tea set spoons. My son stands on the other side of the room, still beckoning me out of the living room toward the bathroom. I shake my head at my daughter's soup and go into the bathroom.

Here, I find that my little girl had failed in her first attempt at Kix Chip soup. The shards of chip must have simply been too large for her texture pallet. How do I know this from walking into the bathroom? Well, I'll tell you. She had dumped the entire bowl of cereal and chips into the bathroom sink and run the water over it, leaving a sticky goopy mess of lumpy Kix and soggy chips. Instead of getting angry, I realized I should have kept more of an eye on the snacks in the living room and I declared that it was nap time.

My daughter did not want to take a nap. She got very angry. She cried. She stamped her feet. She smacked the floor. She screamed. None of this worked. I walked out of the room. Then, she started yelling at me.

"I don't like you anymore, Mommy!"
"I don't even love you anymore!"
"You're meeeeeaaaann!"

And then the best one ever: "You're not a princess anymore! You're a boy!"

Well, I couldn't stop laughing. And the poor girl was so mad that she had failed to insult me that she laid down and cried for 20 minutes straight. What's a Mommy to do?? It was FUNNY!