I Need an Energy Transfer
(written September 15, 2006)
There is a deep-rooted Southern side of me. Oh, yes. It is there. Lurking under my skin, in parts of my brain I try not to use. In the end, I can't control it. It is the side of me that says I have to perfectly perform every function in my life, know my priorities at all times, and look good doing it all. Forget breaking a sweat.
This week, I'm all off. My energy is off. I feel nervous. Not sure about what, but something isn't right. And trust me, I don't look good. Ever have one of those weeks? Monday was a typical Monday. Traffic was bad. I had to print out almost 700 subscription packages. Funny thing, my printer wouldn't work. However, my ticketing software thought every single ticket had printed. The ticketing program won't let me print out the group again. So now what happens? I have to go into all of the individual accounts to print out the packages one by one. That was just Monday.
Stupid me had to go make a joke about how Monday was over, unless I stepped into some kind of time vortex where it is always Monday. Well, cosmic energy can be a bitch! And I'm talking a bitch with PMS! Because it stayed Monday for me all week long!!! My printer and server took turns malfunctioning everytime the IT guy walked out of the front door. I think all of the 700 people on my list called to ask why their tickets had not been mailed yet. The only people that have called to purchase tickets in the last two days have been people that have vouchers for free tickets. Everyone one of them got nasty with me because I wouldn't give them fifth row center. Let's think BUSINESS here, people!! According to them, I should only consider making money when I'm talking to everyone else. Right. My daughter has been horrible! And I mean horrid! I don't remember what her smile looks like because she's only been in tears this week. I have managed to flub up every personal interaction I have had with anyone this week. Now, I am sitting at home because my babysitter had to cancel last minute. Why? Because I thought it into being!
That's correct. I thought "With my luck this week, I won't have a sitter." And guess what? I have determined that every problem I have had this week goes back to my own energy, my own thoughts. If I think something is going to go badly it will. Now, I didn't think the printer would be evil like it was. But did it really have to throw off my entire week? No. I should have thought "Okay. This sucks. Move on. Better things to come." Instead, I think "Oh, God. It's a Monday. I hope I don't have a horrible week." I made it negative, and it didn't have to be. My favorite phrase this week has been "I hate people." (Okay, so after "F*#% this printer!!!", my favorite phrase has been "I hate people.") But I don't. I love the people I work with. I love my family. I love my friends. I love the people I actually interact with in person. The phone people need attitude changes. But I can do that. Instead of picking up the phone expecting to be yelled at by some monster with fangs, I should expect a regular human being who is as stressed as I am. Maybe instead of being so stressed out that I end up slurring my words and stuttering, I can speak confidently and clearly because I refuse to be a nervous wreck. I'm sure that would get a much better response from the caller. I need to go back to loving people. Well, maybe that's a little far, but at least like them again. I need to curb the energy around me, and bring it back to positive. Maybe then, my klutziness will dissipate. Maybe then my daughter won't cry so much either.
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