Haunted iTunes

Last night, I curled up under my blankets and snuggled into read. I was exhausted after a long few days at work and a night of taking the kids out to a movie. It was a happy exhaustion, but all I wanted to do was to be warm and bundled and reading a good book. As soon as I got comfortable, my iTunes started itself and blared Sia's "Girl You Lost to Cocaine." Since I hadn't been listening to music at all that day, nor had I touched my computer since that morning, I found it slightly surprising that my iTunes would come to life. The odd thing is that I was, in all honesty, only slightly surprised. I got out of bed to turn it off, more concerned that the music would wake the kids.

But I stopped. It's the song I played on repeat while getting dressed for my divorce hearing. Last night, I stood by my computer, ready to turn it off, and stopped. I stood by my desk and sang at the top of my lungs. I sang in celebration of me.

I've stuck around through thick and through thin
You cannot deny I've always been in
And I've watched you stand still as a snowman
No I don't see you change; you're always at meltdown

And I've been your crutch, your smell, sight and touch
Yeah, I took you home when you drunk too much
But I can't survive with you by my side
See I'll never get laid while I'm running your life

No, I just don't wanna so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do, I will not stay
No, I don't need drama so I'm walking away
Yeah, I am a girl with a lot on her plate

So just cut me loose, learn to tie your shoes
There's somebody here I'd like to introduce
So look in the mirror, look for the glass
'Cause you're not my problem, you are my last

No, I just don't wanna so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do, I will not stay
No, I don't need drama so I'm walking away
Yeah, I am a girl with a lot on her plate

No, I just don't wanna so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do, I will not stay
No, I'm not your momma so I'm walking away
See, I'm just the girl that you lost to cocaine

Funny that this song would be the one to play itself. It's my ex-husband's birthday.