I wrote this thing back in March of 2010. I named it Ephemeral. I was never happy with it, and came back to it a couple of years later to fix it. I still wasn't happy with it. Today, I think I finally finished it. I'll see how I feel in a couple of years.
EPHEMERAL
waking to your eyes
alive and overflowing with joy
sunlight through snow
your hand grazing my waist
steady, girl
I'm wearing a dress you've never seen.
You'd love it on your bird.
Who's to know what's real?
Nothing is sure, but the joy is constant. The joy as great as the fear as great as the anger as great as the questions as great as the love.
Do I know you?
In songs we shared like secrets on pillows.
Trying to find peace.
Disinfecting a wound hurts.
And running makes us strong.
In the letting go
I am haunted
by dreams or memories.
Nothing of me is sacred
or safe from your shade
as it winds and twists and sets me on fire.
hold fast, girl
strong hands on my hips. kisses at the kitchen sink. the smell of you on the sheets. bruises on my neck. foreheads touching through sweat. heaviness of blankets. legs intertwined. laughter. peace was on your porch. answered prayers.
fight to pull in breath over the pain in my chest. pull over the car. scream into the emptiness until my voice is raw. throw my phone into the void. hit the steering wheel. bruises on the palms of my hands. panic was in the gravel. block. silence.
My dress is red and won't be put out by my tears
or pleas for mercy.
I burn till there is nothing left
but the ache in my clipped wings.
In pictures, there is sadness in your eyes
even as you smile.
We hide our fear in secrets.
Look how far we've run.
Look how strong we are.
